Ammar's Blog

What's Past Is Prologue

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Reality Bites

Lately, life has become somewhat complicated for myself. Between professional life and academic life, I am working what is considered as a double shit. I wake up between 8 and 8:30 in the am and continue all the way until around 2 in the am. Times were worse, I would actually go up until 6 in the am. Honestly, I really don't know how I have lasted 1.5 years on this hectic and exhaustive schedule.

I don't know whether life has become tougher, than usual, or I have become less tolerant to small "piss-offs". A month ago, little things that annoy me would actually pass by. I would, literally, accept them as a joke and carry on with life. But, I have noticed that this is not the case anymore. Matters have gotten worse. I could get annoyed at the smallest thing and it would go a long way with me.

I have been, with the help of a friend, attempting to reach the root of the problem and when I try to do so I just give up. I don't know exactly why, but I find out that it just reaches a point with me where I say to myself, "screw it. It literally ain't worth it!!!" It just takes too much time, effort, and energy to reach the root and solve it.

One fact I am completely aware of, I feel rock-solid inside...And I hate that!!!